live another day

Live another day …

by

Vivek Hande

Happy Birthday! Happy Wedding Anniversary! That was it. Life was so simple and uncomplicated in those days. Today, one has to keep track of a whole lot of unknown people to wish. One has to wish so many  people for so many things or  forget it at the risk of offending someone and being regarded as insensitive and uncaring, anti-social  and  behind- the -times! You could become a social outcast , get ostracized or become a pariah if you don’t keep track of these ever expanding lists. I  dread each new day and wonder whom I have not wished or greeted- life has become more complicated!

Did you know yesterday was Bai Day (also called Kaam-wali Day in North India)? You are in for serious trouble if you have not given a day off to your maid and given her a new cotton Saree. She may not be there in your employ till Bai- ke- Bacche day(also called Kaam-wali –ke -Bacche day in North India ) which falls on April 20 , when you have to take the maid’s kids for Ice-Cream to Baskin Robbins. Everybody is so sensitive about these “days “. One loved ones’ parents always but Fathers and Mothers become suspicious if you don’t wish them on their respective days. I actually sneak into my sons’ rooms trying to look for my surprise gift on Father’s Day eve. Guess what ? I believe very soon , there is going to be a Pot-bellied Father’s Day and another Grey –Haired Father’s Day and sometime in May ,they are going to fit in a Left- Handed- Grandfather’s Day! Things are just getting more exciting.

Not to be left behind ,there are special days for environmental and medical and health issues. No- Electricity –Day and Conserve –water –Day  are passé and old fashioned. There are exciting new days to be recognized officially  which are right round the corner.  To mention a few , No-toilet –paper day(May24); No –toothbrush –day (June 02); No –potty –day (June09) are some of the more prominent ones. Then there are these special days to honor certain professionals – you have Doctors’ Day and Nurses’ Day and Teacher’s Day .  The politicians have not taken this well and a bill is going to be tabled in Parliament shortly . They regard their position as special and hence have recommended a  Politician’s Week . A day would , quite obviously not suffice !

Then there are these ‘days ‘dedicated to create awareness about various illnesses. Of course, there is the World Health Day .There is a Hepatitis Day and a Diabetes Day and a Glaucoma Day and the World AIDS Day and so on. However, some specialties have been feeling left out and want to highlight the sterling work they are doing in respective areas of expertise. To focus on the ailments and bring suffering patients closer, tie-ups have been made with Hallmark cards . Very soon cards and posters will be available wishing “Happy Anal Incontinence  Day” and “Happy Enema Anniversary!”   To accommodate these large number of cards and gifts being exchanged on these Days , Ikea has brought out a special range of cupboards with different sized slots – they are ,unimaginatively ,being marketed as the Day Cupboards!

To avoid confusion between these various days and to avoid overlap , a Department of Days has been created under the Ministry of Human Resources  which considers applications for new entries. The waiting period for inclusion in the official Government of India Day List is several days  and understandably ,  there is intense lobbying for the dates. Some requests have been turned down at the initial stages itself.  Some of them include, “No –Corruption –Day  “ , “ No – Cellphone- Day “ , “No Television –Day” …

Because of the intense demand for the Days , the Department is unable to cope with the staggering demand and there is a suggestion to start marketing Nights soon . In the near future expect “, Happy Maternal Uncle’s Night and Happy Chemistry Professor Night!”

Author: vivekhande

A gastroenterologist who writes from the gut. an observer ; a learner ..

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